A sabbatical in my own personal life meant to not only to focus on God, but to learn more about how I act, how my moods are, what I need to work on, and what inner baggage God needed to remove in my life. It was a transforming experience to take that time and learn to hear Gods voice.

In the beginning of my sabbatical I was just going to do it for no dating in my life. Within that month, three guys started talking to me and I had to remove myself because I knew I couldn’t get involved with a guy. Guys were flies sticking on to me and wanting to get my attention. When you try to follow Christ closer you will get attacked harder. I learned that none of those guys were for me because I was dedicated to my God. It was not God’s timing so I knew it was not the best of the best for me.

The next couple of months, God revealed inner baggage that I carried still upset me. Rejection in my life from my physical father was something God had to deal with me from the inside out. I couldn’t let go because I never forgave my physical father for never being in my life. Not letting go of the past will put you in chains. This will stop you from going forward into your future. Rejection, loneliness, abandonment and isolation stirs up our lives.  In the course of time it had a domino effect that affected all my relationships, which even led to co-dependency in friendships.

The Lord taught me to let go, forgive and forget the past. After doing this, I am now able to go forward into the next season. I also fasted for 4 days, which taught me so much. I was walking home one day from church and I just thought about all the great things God has done in the past rocky 4 years of my life. I felt an overwhelming peace come over me while I was worshiping God. It was something I will never forget and will always treasure.

 A revelation in my life!!

 I have observed Christian couples to see the kind of man I want and also who I want to be as a woman of God. Every day, I am learning something new about myself. I know that I am not perfect but I am trying everyday to be like Ruth and prepare myself for the Boaz that will come into my life one day.

 How did I handle the struggles?

 I did struggle with wanting a relationship within this sabbatical period. I would write a letter to my future husband or to God. I didn’t dwell on the thoughts of wanting a relationship. I would capture my thoughts and start think about something else. I reminded myself that God has the best for me. When I go to weddings or special occasions and see happy couples, I would say to myself,  “God has that for me one day but not now.”

Menstrual days!! On the days that I would have my period are honestly the hardest days of wanting a relationship. Every time I was on my period I would isolate myself from guys because I knew I would be thinking about wanting a relationship. I would hang out only with girls. I would do anything I have to do so that I would not fall into the temptation to think about having a relationship to distract my walk with God. I honestly believe that whatever a girl has to do to stay focus on God – then DO IT! Believe me, it is not easy but I know in HIS TIMING, it will be worth it all.   Ecclesiastes 3:11 -  He has made everything beautiful in its time.

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Change is a hard thing for everyone to embrace. But change will happen whether we like it or not. There are some changes that are out of our control, but then there are those changes that we choose to make. Now, it’s a choice when it comes to our spirituality. One of my favorite passages in the bible is Isaiah 61:3. If you like going to the spa, then you will love getting a spiritual make-over as the scripture states:

Provide for those who grieve in Zion– to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of gladness instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the Lord for the display of his splendor.

Let’s take a look how this passage correlates with our past, present and future. Our past consists of the ashes, mourning and spirit of despair that we have to live through our lives. The past has full of grief, sorrow, hurt, pain, bitterness, un-forgiveness, etc. The majority of the issues we have from our past have to do with relationships with others. This may include relationships with our parents, the opposite sex, same sex, etc. This can still have some negative affects in our lives.

It’s in our present time that God give us beauty, oil of gladness and a garment of praise. God wants to make each one of us beautiful from the inside out, not the other way around. True joy can only come from God. We must literally clothe ourselves in praise. Every morning we decide what to wear. In the same way we must decide to put on the garment of praise on a daily basis.

Our future consists of being called righteousness and the Lord will put us on display. The people of the Lord then will be called “oaks of righteousness.” We are to be strong witnesses “of the Lord for the display of his splendor.” Our lives should reflect God.

You may have felt like your life was ugly and insignificant. Let’s take a look at the ugly duckling story. It felt different and didn’t fit in with its current environment. But what happened as it matured? It became a beautiful swan and found it fit in with the other beautiful swans, more beautiful than the other ducks it once hung out with. So what is Moral of this story? Stop hanging around with the ugly ducks you used to hang out with.

Let’s look at those relationships that you got yourself into. You are going to attract those that have the same spirit as you. So if you are negative, critical and mean, well guess what? Those are the type of people that will be attracted to you. If you are all about materialistic things, promiscuity or care-free, than those are the kind of flies that you will be attracting your way! Aren’t you tired of attracting and having to swat away those annoying flies?

With a new spiritual make-over, you are called to hang around beautiful swans just like you are! And when your beauty radiates, you will be displaying God’s splendor in your life. What a great future to look forward to. The people you will start attracting will be good, positive and full of life. Surround yourself with godly men and women that will speak and be a blessing to you.

Imagine yourself in a BEFORE picture and then after God gets done with you, you have your AFTER picture of your spiritual make-over. The best thing about a spiritual make-over is that you are not only changed on the outside, but most importantly you are changed in the inside where it counts the most in God’s eyes. You are BEUATIFUL, you are BLESSED, and you are HIGHLY FAVORED by Almighty God!