This is part 2 as we continue on the topic of internet dating. I would like to share my very own personal experience with you.

My friend and I decided to try it so we can meet more people of the opposite sex. We were smart women, so we were confident and very careful about it. We knew NOT to get to personal with them through email. We held each other accountable with every guy. I was amazed how a computer can match me up with guys that shared many common interests. I felt I had control because at any time that I felt uncomfortable or uneasy, I could just simply delete this person and never have contact with them again.

I was enjoying meeting new people. Quickly, I was able to filter out those that were just out to play around and only wanted a good time. There was one in particular that I was drawn to more because of his spiritual life. I will call him Bachelor #1. There was another one that intrigued me because he had a heart for inner-city mission work and that was a passion of mine. He is Bachelor #2.  I focused on these two individuals. I decided to take the next step of meeting Bachelor #1 in person. I made sure that I had my tracks covered – letting my close friend know where I was going, how long I planned on being there, what he looked liked, etc.  If she didn’t hear from me in a couple of hours, to send out an APB out on me.  (READ my blog on the “Do’s & Don’ts on the 1^st Date”)

 The 1^st meeting with Bachelor #1 went well. We did not consider it a date because it was just a meeting to get to know each other. I was not at all attracted to him in person, but getting to know him over email was very appealing to me. On to Bachelor #2. I met him for coffee and right away, I got a check in my spirit about an anger issue that he had. I knew that was something I didn’t want to deal with. So we remained friends. We did things in a group setting at church functions, parties, etc and that’s all it ever developed into.  I had a new friend.

Now as I continue to stay in communication with Bachelor #1, I started getting personal with him through email because I felt safe with him after going out with him a few more times.  To make a long story short, we ended up dating and I thought for sure that he was, “THE ONE”. We both felt that our relationship was from God. But as time went on, he ended up NOT being, “THE ONE”. 

After 6 months of this relationship not working out, I decided to try my luck again with online dating. But this time it was different because I went back to it wanting to find my mate for life! I didn’t want to meet friends or even date anymore, I wanted to get married. As I signed back up and started communicating with different guys, there were some guys that would stop the communication with me. I took it personally and I felt so rejected and hurt! Every day, I would be praying and anticipating a new person on my profile to be my mate. It got to the point where I was so miserable, I got mad and closed my account.  I was mad at God for awhile blaming him that he didn’t match me up with a mate like He was supposed to.

After I had my pity party for myself, God gave me a revelation about this whole experience with online dating. He showed me the difference in my attitude when I went back the second time to online dating. Here are the top things I learned from this whole experience:

1. I got attached to someone emotionally over email. Even after seeing them in person and not being physically attractive, I chose to continue emailing him. There is danger in this. As innocent as email may sound, people will share their feelings more on email than in person. So many will end up getting emotionally attached to the words of someone and not to the real live person. Anyone can sound good in writing. Look at people’s resume and compare them in real life! People will write down an image of who they think they are, not who they really are. The way we read and interpret their writing is an image of a person that we have created in our own mind. This is not reality.
2. I stopped relying on God and started trusting a computer to match me up with someone. God is the ultimate match-maker. If you lose sight of this, then you are leaning on your own understanding (PROVERBS 3:5-6 ). I wanted to be married so bad that I was desperate to try anything.
3. Just because online dating may have worked for my friend, did not mean that it was going to work for me. God wanted to me to have my own Cinderella Story and it wasn’t going to be from a computer. He wanted to get the Glory and not have a computer be a God to me.

I am still not going to tell you if internet dating is right or wrong. It’s a personal conviction for yourself that you must pray to God about. Just know this – internet dating isn’t for everyone. If you have personal experience with internet dating, please share with others by leaving your comments on this blog.  Thanks!

Do you find yourself in so many weddings but it’s not your own? One after another, your friends seem to get engaged and you are asked to be one of the bridesmaids.  This is the story of your life, that famous quote, “Always a bridesmaid, never the bride”.  

You should be grateful that you are asked to be in the wedding party. That means your friend cherishes you to be part of her special day. You need to realize that this is an honor to be part of. Let me ask you this, if this was your wedding day, wouldn’t you want your single friends to celebrate with you? Why then while you are still single, would you be a sourpuss on your friend’s wedding? It’s not about you, it’s about the bride. If you cannot be happy and celebrate with your friend that is getting married, how do you expect that God is going to bring you that special mate? No wonder you are not married yet.

Any wedding, whether it’s your friend or worse, your enemy, you should have the attitude of celebration. The bible says in Matthew 7:12 –

Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you.  

This is the Bible’s Golden Rule! God sees your heart’s desire to get married and he wants to bless you with a mate. But I truly believe God makes us wait to see how we re-act to others being blessed before it’s our turn. You see, it’s about our heart-condition. We need to be happy for others instead of griping and complaining. I love Joyce Meyer when she preaches on selfishness. She moves across the stage like a robot with a broken record repeating the words, “What about me, what about me, what about me?”  

When you complain and grumble about not being married, it can become bitterness and jealousy in your heart towards others that are being blessed.  This is not the right attitude to have and God is not pleased with it. It reminds Him of a child throwing a tantrum because the child does not get his/her way. Do not be like this child, but instead be that child of God that is pleasing & acceptable to Him. Here is what you need to do to please God in this area…

The more you celebrate and support someone in their wedding plans & marriage, then it will also be done unto you when it is YOUR turn.  Wedding plans are stressful enough and you want to be the biggest fan and encourager to the bride and groom. This is about them, not you. If you take this time to celebrate and make them feel special, then when it’s YOUR turn, you are going to be more blessed and stress-free!!! If you don’t change your bad attitude, you may never get YOUR turn.

Also look on the brighter side of this – you will get more experience with weddings of what to do and what not to do. Learn as much as you can and get some great ideas from others. So by the time it’s YOUR  turn, you will have the most perfect wedding of all!  Remember, being single is just a season in your life. It’s what you do during this season that will determine your future. Celebrate with others now. Remember  the Golden Rule!