My plan for life was to have a career, happily married with 3 children, house, dog and 3 cars. My American Dream! By the way, this was all to be done by the age of 30 years old. But that was not my reality. By the age of 30, I was divorce, alone, no kids, and no dog. However, I did have a career and a house. My point is that life does not turn out exactly how we plan it.

Everyone has heard the quote – 

“When Life gives you lemons, make lemonade”

  But I would like to take it one step further and add:

“When Life gives you lemons, make lemonade…AND Give it away for others to enjoy!

You may be wondering why I would add this. Well, let me explain this to you. In life, you will be given lemons. And some have lemons THROWN at them pretty hard. It can hurt when it is thrown hard. It could be things like a divorce, death, poverty, etc.

Now, we have a choice of what we do with these lemons. Many people will eat the lemons. Tasting a lemon is very bitter and sour. So, if we eat the lemons in life, it becomes bitter and sour to our soul. You may have heard of a “Pity Party.” Yes, that is what happens to us if we eat the lemons of life. We feel sorry for ourselves.

What we need to do with these lemons is to allow God to make lemonade out of life! He is the lemonade maker! Making lemonade is a process. The juice has to be squeezed out. God has to squeeze you so then he can add sugar (his sweetness) and water (Jesus the living water) to the mix. If these two ingredients are not added, you will just be bitter and sour for the rest of your life. Once the lemonade is made, don’t just have it for yourself. You must share it with others so they can be refreshed as well!

Do you know why I am able to help a lot of women that are hurting and broken? Not because I am a good talker, but because I share my life experiences with them. I am transparent, real and don’t put on a façade. When I share how I overcame life’s challenges, it gives other people hope that they TOO can make it. This also brings healing to my own life. It’s a win-win for everyone!

“Anyone who intends to come with Me has to let Me lead. You’re not in the driver’s seat; I am” – Matthew 16:24 (MSG)

When we truly give up our lives and follow Jesus, then that means our lives are not ours anymore. It’s to be shared with everyone else in making a difference in this world. That is why I wrote the book the “Born-Again Virgin”. It’s about my life journey as a Christian Single adult and the process God brought me through to be that Born-Again Virgin for my husband.

Mike was a Pastor when I met him. When he started pursuing me, I thought I was never holy or spiritual enough to be a Pastor’s wife. I ran from him. I ask God, “Doesn’t Mike know what kind of background I came from? Why would Mike want someone like me who had slept around with so many men?”

God brought me to the story in the bible of Hosea and Gomer. Hosea was a righteous man and he married Gomer, who was the total opposite. She was not only promiscuous, but a prostitute. That did not matter to Hosea. He loved her no matter what. This is the same type of love that Christ has for us. I knew Jesus loves me no matter what because that is the way HE is. So I didn’t have a problem with Agape love from God. But I couldn’t fathom that from a man. That is where God had to work in my heart to let me know and show me that Mike loved me no matter what my past was like. WOW! And the rest is history.

When you let God lead you and you surrender to His will, then life is refreshing like lemonade.

“When Life gives you lemons, make lemonade…AND Give it away for others to enjoy!”

 If you want to share your story with us, please email it to info@bavirgin.com

 A sabbatical in my own personal life meant to not only to focus on God, but to learn more about how I act, how my moods are, what I need to work on, and what inner baggage God needed to remove in my life. It was a transforming experience to take that time and learn to hear Gods voice.

In the beginning of my sabbatical I was just going to do it for no dating in my life. Within that month, three guys started talking to me and I had to remove myself because I knew I couldn’t get involved with a guy. Guys were flies sticking on to me and wanting to get my attention. When you try to follow Christ closer you will get attacked harder. I learned that none of those guys were for me because I was dedicated to my God. It was not God’s timing so I knew it was not the best of the best for me.

The next couple of months, God revealed inner baggage that I carried still upset me. Rejection in my life from my physical father was something God had to deal with me from the inside out. I couldn’t let go because I never forgave my physical father for never being in my life. Not letting go of the past will put you in chains. This will stop you from going forward into your future. Rejection, loneliness, abandonment and isolation stirs up our lives.  In the course of time it had a domino effect that affected all my relationships, which even led to co-dependency in friendships.

The Lord taught me to let go, forgive and forget the past. After doing this, I am now able to go forward into the next season. I also fasted for 4 days, which taught me so much. I was walking home one day from church and I just thought about all the great things God has done in the past rocky 4 years of my life. I felt an overwhelming peace come over me while I was worshiping God. It was something I will never forget and will always treasure.

 A revelation in my life!!

 I have observed Christian couples to see the kind of man I want and also who I want to be as a woman of God. Every day, I am learning something new about myself. I know that I am not perfect but I am trying everyday to be like Ruth and prepare myself for the Boaz that will come into my life one day.

 How did I handle the struggles?

 I did struggle with wanting a relationship within this sabbatical period. I would write a letter to my future husband or to God. I didn’t dwell on the thoughts of wanting a relationship. I would capture my thoughts and start think about something else. I reminded myself that God has the best for me. When I go to weddings or special occasions and see happy couples, I would say to myself,  “God has that for me one day but not now.”

Menstrual days!! On the days that I would have my period are honestly the hardest days of wanting a relationship. Every time I was on my period I would isolate myself from guys because I knew I would be thinking about wanting a relationship. I would hang out only with girls. I would do anything I have to do so that I would not fall into the temptation to think about having a relationship to distract my walk with God. I honestly believe that whatever a girl has to do to stay focus on God – then DO IT! Believe me, it is not easy but I know in HIS TIMING, it will be worth it all.   Ecclesiastes 3:11 -  He has made everything beautiful in its time.

If you have a story that you would like to share with others, please email it to info@bavirgin.com