A sabbatical in my own personal life meant to not only to focus on God, but to learn more about how I act, how my moods are, what I need to work on, and what inner baggage God needed to remove in my life. It was a transforming experience to take that time and learn to hear Gods voice.

In the beginning of my sabbatical I was just going to do it for no dating in my life. Within that month, three guys started talking to me and I had to remove myself because I knew I couldn’t get involved with a guy. Guys were flies sticking on to me and wanting to get my attention. When you try to follow Christ closer you will get attacked harder. I learned that none of those guys were for me because I was dedicated to my God. It was not God’s timing so I knew it was not the best of the best for me.

The next couple of months, God revealed inner baggage that I carried still upset me. Rejection in my life from my physical father was something God had to deal with me from the inside out. I couldn’t let go because I never forgave my physical father for never being in my life. Not letting go of the past will put you in chains. This will stop you from going forward into your future. Rejection, loneliness, abandonment and isolation stirs up our lives.  In the course of time it had a domino effect that affected all my relationships, which even led to co-dependency in friendships.

The Lord taught me to let go, forgive and forget the past. After doing this, I am now able to go forward into the next season. I also fasted for 4 days, which taught me so much. I was walking home one day from church and I just thought about all the great things God has done in the past rocky 4 years of my life. I felt an overwhelming peace come over me while I was worshiping God. It was something I will never forget and will always treasure.

 A revelation in my life!!

 I have observed Christian couples to see the kind of man I want and also who I want to be as a woman of God. Every day, I am learning something new about myself. I know that I am not perfect but I am trying everyday to be like Ruth and prepare myself for the Boaz that will come into my life one day.

 How did I handle the struggles?

 I did struggle with wanting a relationship within this sabbatical period. I would write a letter to my future husband or to God. I didn’t dwell on the thoughts of wanting a relationship. I would capture my thoughts and start think about something else. I reminded myself that God has the best for me. When I go to weddings or special occasions and see happy couples, I would say to myself,  “God has that for me one day but not now.”

Menstrual days!! On the days that I would have my period are honestly the hardest days of wanting a relationship. Every time I was on my period I would isolate myself from guys because I knew I would be thinking about wanting a relationship. I would hang out only with girls. I would do anything I have to do so that I would not fall into the temptation to think about having a relationship to distract my walk with God. I honestly believe that whatever a girl has to do to stay focus on God – then DO IT! Believe me, it is not easy but I know in HIS TIMING, it will be worth it all.   Ecclesiastes 3:11 -  He has made everything beautiful in its time.

If you have a story that you would like to share with others, please email it to info@bavirgin.com

• Why aren’t you married yet?
• I see you didn’t bring anybody again this year huh?
• You are such a good catch, why is no one trying to catch you?
• Are you gay?
• You are a beautiful woman (or handsome man); you should be able to get dates.
• What’s wrong with you?

Or how about your family trying to fix a problem that they think you have. So they make suggestions or comments such as:

• You must stay home too much.  You need to get out more and meet people.
• You don’t want to be alone for the rest of your life do you? This is what you need to do…(gives you their advice from 20 years ago when they were single)
• Your standards must be too high.
• You are getting older so you really shouldn’t be so picky.
• I have the perfect person for you. How about I set you up on a date?
• Let’s sign you up for online dating.
• You should go on a dating reality show.

No wonder the holidays are so stressful for Singles. It’s not the hustle & bustle of shopping and traffic, but the though t of being grilled year after year for still being single! That’s enough to drive you crazy right into the New Year!

Let’s take a look of what you can do to survive the holidays this year. Here are some tips for you:

1. Change your opinion of your family. They REALLY do mean well. They just don’t know how to express themselves. Instead of getting upset with them again, say a little prayer under your breath (so they cannot hear you). Do what Jesus did on the cross. He said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they do”. Think about it, your family really doesn’t know what they do when they talk this way. So, instead of getting upset with them, have compassion for them the way Jesus did. Again, they REALLY do mean well, but may not be tactful about it.
2.  Change your attitude with your family. Politely, let them know that you are waiting for God to bring that special someone into your life and you are willing to wait until he thinks you are ready. Politely (I can’t emphasize this enough – politely) tell them to take it up with God if they thought He was moving too slow. This should shut them up pretty quickly, they will change the subject or open up a discussion regarding prayer. This would be a good time to witness about your faith. Share with them all the wonderful things you are doing as a single adult, especially what God is doing in your life during this season of singleness. Don’t focus on the negative of being single, but be enthusiastic about being single. This just may make some married people jealous.
3. Enjoy what you have now. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself of not having a date, you need to look around you. You have FAMILY/FRIENDS that you are sharing the holidays with. They love you and it’s time to stop feeling sorry for what you don’t have and be grateful for what you DO have. Enjoy your nieces/nephews. Kids are fun. Don’t miss out just because you don’t have kids of your own. Thank God for the family member that is concerned about you being single. At least you know they care. Most importantly, you should be so thankful that you have family/friends that you can share the holidays with. There are single people in the world spending the holidays alone.

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.  Philippians 4:11-13

 The most important tip to remember is the true meaning of the holidays –

THANKSGIVING: To be “THANKFUL” for what you do have (family, friends, job, roof over your head, food, etc.)

CHRISTMAS: To celebrate the birth of our Savior -

 “JESUS IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON”