As the holidays are quickly approaching, it can be dreadful thinking about facing your family by yourself again. Those annoying questions:

• Why aren’t you married yet?
• I see you didn’t bring anybody again this year huh?
• You are such a good catch, why is no one trying to catch you?
• Are you gay?
• You are a beautiful woman (or handsome man); you should be able to get dates.
• What’s wrong with you?

Or how about your family trying to fix a problem that they think you have. So they make suggestions or comments such as:

• You must stay home too much.  You need to get out more and meet people.
• You don’t want to be alone for the rest of your life do you? This is what you need to do…(gives you their advice from 20 years ago when they were single)
• Your standards must be too high.
• You are getting older so you really shouldn’t be so picky.
• I have the perfect person for you. How about I set you up on a date?
• Let’s sign you up for online dating.
• You should go on a dating reality show.

No wonder the holidays are so stressful for Singles. It’s not the hustle & bustle of shopping and traffic, but the though t of being grilled year after year for still being single! That’s enough to drive you crazy right into the New Year!

Let’s take a look of what you can do to survive the holidays this year. Here are some tips for you:

1. Change your opinion of your family. They REALLY do mean well. They just don’t know how to express themselves. Instead of getting upset with them again, say a little prayer under your breath (so they cannot hear you). Do what Jesus did on the cross. He said, “Father, forgive them, for they don’t know what they do”. Think about it, your family really doesn’t know what they do when they talk this way. So, instead of getting upset with them, have compassion for them the way Jesus did. Again, they REALLY do mean well, but may not be tactful about it.
2.  Change your attitude with your family. Politely, let them know that you are waiting for God to bring that special someone into your life and you are willing to wait until he thinks you are ready. Politely (I can’t emphasize this enough – politely) tell them to take it up with God if they thought He was moving too slow. This should shut them up pretty quickly, they will change the subject or open up a discussion regarding prayer. This would be a good time to witness about your faith. Share with them all the wonderful things you are doing as a single adult, especially what God is doing in your life during this season of singleness. Don’t focus on the negative of being single, but be enthusiastic about being single. This just may make some married people jealous.
3. Enjoy what you have now. Instead of feeling sorry for yourself of not having a date, you need to look around you. You have FAMILY/FRIENDS that you are sharing the holidays with. They love you and it’s time to stop feeling sorry for what you don’t have and be grateful for what you DO have. Enjoy your nieces/nephews. Kids are fun. Don’t miss out just because you don’t have kids of your own. Thank God for the family member that is concerned about you being single. At least you know they care. Most importantly, you should be so thankful that you have family/friends that you can share the holidays with. There are single people in the world spending the holidays alone.

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. I can do everything through him who gives me strength.  Philippians 4:11-13

 The most important tip to remember is the true meaning of the holidays –

THANKSGIVING: To be “THANKFUL” for what you do have (family, friends, job, roof over your head, food, etc.)

CHRISTMAS: To celebrate the birth of our Savior -

 “JESUS IS THE REASON FOR THE SEASON”

You are not hopeless! You just have to come to a realization how damaging it is to have casual sex that is not meaningful. Not only can it be damaging physically (sexually transmitted diseases, AIDS, unwanted pregnancy, etc) but most importantly, it can scar someone emotionally for a long time or even for life.  I am not here to tell you what you should or shouldn’t do when it comes to having sex outside of marriage. I really believe that if you are a Christian, you have the Holy Spirit guiding you and giving you personal convictions about such topics. That is God’s job and not mine.

What I would like to do is share my opinions with regarding such matter. There are scriptures in the bible that specifically states that sexual immorality or fornication (sex outside of marriage). Doing this is not favored by God. Does this mean He doesn’t love you? No, it just means that it is sin just like stealing or even lying. God is a loving God and what we must do if we find ourselves in sin that is not pleasing to him is to confess, repent, and change our ways.

 It is my personal experience of many years of being promiscuous of what that did to me physically, emotionally and spiritually.  It’s taken me many years of soul-searching to get healed from all my past relationships. If you haven’t already read my book, I highly suggest you read it as it should give you insight of sexual purity and why that is so important. It will also assist and guide you in this process of becoming a Born-Again Virgin. I’m not saying sex is bad as God himself created sex. But he created sex between a man and a woman within the concept of marriage.

 Heb 13:4-5 Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.

 Again I have to reiterate that sex is good and acceptable in God’s eyes when it’s within marriage. I know for myself and for so many other people that waiting for the one that they will marry has been remarkable beyond words can even explain.  I really believe that if you diligently seek God and get to know him through the Bible, he will show you and guide you in the things he wants you to do personally.

 Here are scriptures that are clear in the Bible regarding sexual immorality:

 For out of the heart come evil thoughts, murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander. 20 These are what make a man ‘unclean’; but eating with unwashed hands does not make him ‘unclean.’” Matt 15:19-20

You are to abstain from food sacrificed to idols, from blood, from the meat of strangled animals and from sexual immorality. You will do well to avoid these things. Acts 15:29

 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body. 19 Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own; 20 you were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body. 1 Cor 6:18-20 

 Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lewdness, 20 idolatry, sorcery, hatred, contentions, jealousies, outbursts of wrath, selfish ambitions, dissensions, heresies, 21 envy, murders, drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God. Gal 5:19-21

 But fornication and all uncleanness or covetousness, let it not even be named among you, as is fitting for saints; 4 neither filthiness, nor foolish talking, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting, but rather giving of thanks. 5 For this you know, that no fornicator, unclean person, nor covetous man, who is an idolater, has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and God. 6 Let no one deceive you with empty words, for because of these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of disobedience. 7 Therefore do not be partakers with them. Eph 5:3-7

 Therefore put to death your members which are on the earth: fornication, uncleanness, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. 6 Because of these things the wrath of God is coming upon the sons of disobedience, 7 in which you yourselves once walked when you lived in them. Col 3:5-7

Some people mistaken this as God doesn’t want them to have fun. But in reality these scriptures are in the bible because God wants to warn you and protect you from heartaches, disappointments and the other things that I have previously mentioned. True sexual contentment cannot be found until it is blessed by God and the only way for that is if it’s in a marriage setting. It’s worth the wait!!!