PART 2 – Can God use the INTERNET to find your mate?

This is part 2 as we continue on the topic of internet dating. I would like to share my very own personal experience with you.

My friend and I decided to try it so we can meet more people of the opposite sex. We were smart women, so we were confident and very careful about it. We knew NOT to get to personal with them through email. We held each other accountable with every guy. I was amazed how a computer can match me up with guys that shared many common interests. I felt I had control because at any time that I felt uncomfortable or uneasy, I could just simply delete this person and never have contact with them again.

I was enjoying meeting new people. Quickly, I was able to filter out those that were just out to play around and only wanted a good time. There was one in particular that I was drawn to more because of his spiritual life. I will call him Bachelor #1. There was another one that intrigued me because he had a heart for inner-city mission work and that was a passion of mine. He is Bachelor #2.  I focused on these two individuals. I decided to take the next step of meeting Bachelor #1 in person. I made sure that I had my tracks covered – letting my close friend know where I was going, how long I planned on being there, what he looked liked, etc.  If she didn’t hear from me in a couple of hours, to send out an APB out on me.  (READ my blog on the “Do’s & Don’ts on the 1^st Date”)

 The 1^st meeting with Bachelor #1 went well. We did not consider it a date because it was just a meeting to get to know each other. I was not at all attracted to him in person, but getting to know him over email was very appealing to me. On to Bachelor #2. I met him for coffee and right away, I got a check in my spirit about an anger issue that he had. I knew that was something I didn’t want to deal with. So we remained friends. We did things in a group setting at church functions, parties, etc and that’s all it ever developed into.  I had a new friend.

Now as I continue to stay in communication with Bachelor #1, I started getting personal with him through email because I felt safe with him after going out with him a few more times.  To make a long story short, we ended up dating and I thought for sure that he was, “THE ONE”. We both felt that our relationship was from God. But as time went on, he ended up NOT being, “THE ONE”. 

After 6 months of this relationship not working out, I decided to try my luck again with online dating. But this time it was different because I went back to it wanting to find my mate for life! I didn’t want to meet friends or even date anymore, I wanted to get married. As I signed back up and started communicating with different guys, there were some guys that would stop the communication with me. I took it personally and I felt so rejected and hurt! Every day, I would be praying and anticipating a new person on my profile to be my mate. It got to the point where I was so miserable, I got mad and closed my account.  I was mad at God for awhile blaming him that he didn’t match me up with a mate like He was supposed to.

After I had my pity party for myself, God gave me a revelation about this whole experience with online dating. He showed me the difference in my attitude when I went back the second time to online dating. Here are the top things I learned from this whole experience:

1. I got attached to someone emotionally over email. Even after seeing them in person and not being physically attractive, I chose to continue emailing him. There is danger in this. As innocent as email may sound, people will share their feelings more on email than in person. So many will end up getting emotionally attached to the words of someone and not to the real live person. Anyone can sound good in writing. Look at people’s resume and compare them in real life! People will write down an image of who they think they are, not who they really are. The way we read and interpret their writing is an image of a person that we have created in our own mind. This is not reality.
2. I stopped relying on God and started trusting a computer to match me up with someone. God is the ultimate match-maker. If you lose sight of this, then you are leaning on your own understanding (PROVERBS 3:5-6 ). I wanted to be married so bad that I was desperate to try anything.
3. Just because online dating may have worked for my friend, did not mean that it was going to work for me. God wanted to me to have my own Cinderella Story and it wasn’t going to be from a computer. He wanted to get the Glory and not have a computer be a God to me.

I am still not going to tell you if internet dating is right or wrong. It’s a personal conviction for yourself that you must pray to God about. Just know this – internet dating isn’t for everyone. If you have personal experience with internet dating, please share with others by leaving your comments on this blog.  Thanks!