The simple answer is this…God can use ANYTHING He wants. He is God almighty and He can do ANYTHING He wants to. The question I always get from Singles, “Is it wrong to use online dating services?” When the topic is not in the bible (not one mention of the internet in there) and a gray area, I always respond back with a question. I would ask them in return, “Do you think it’s wrong?” The answers people usually give are convictions that they personally feel about it. But because it’s become acceptable in our society, one can only think that they should be doing it.

Ministers can debate back and forth all they want about online dating, but I truly believe it is a personal conviction for each person. I have had friends that have found their mate through internet dating. I have also had other friends that had nothing but dating disasters through internet dating. It’s no different than meeting someone at a bar or even a church. You must be cautious and let the Holy Spirit guide you in discerning the intentions of the opposite sex, however you meet them.

I don’t think I need to share about the bad things that can come from internet dating. The media does a good job of this. So many times we see on the news about someone hooking up on the internet and end up being raped or worse, being murdered. We won’t focus on this because we have all heard of horror stories in this evil world. All I have to say about this is to be cautious as there is danger in everything out there.

Instead, let’s talk about the good of internet dating. It’s a way for those that have a busy life to meet people.  Everyone is so busy and it just doesn’t seem like there are enough places to meet good Christian people.  It’s especially hard in churches if there is no singles ministry. I believe the mistake that people make about internet dating is that they are expecting to find their soul mate as these services promotes finding the love of your life. BOLONEY. Jesus is the love of your life! Don’t get caught up in relying on a computer to find your mate. You are setting yourself up for a big disappointment. If you go into it just to meet new people and develop friendships from it, then you are not just focused on finding your mate!

So let’s take a look at a few guidelines for online dating if you decide to do it.

1. Make sure that it is a Christian-based dating service. Never sign up for one that is NOT Christian-based. You want to make sure you are equally yoked (2 Corinthians 6:14). You also have to understand that just because someone say they are a Christian may not necessarily mean they believe in the same things you do or have the same standards and morals as you. Again, this is where you really have to rely on the Holy Spirit to reveal these things to you and you must listen to Him and take action on your part.
2. NEVER give out your personal information over the internet. Things like where you work, your home address, what kind of car you drive, who you bank with, etc. It doesn’t matter how well you get to know someone over the internet or emailing back & forth. You truly do not know someone until you spend a lot of time in person and in public with them. READ my blog on “Do’s & Don’ts on a 1^st date” before you go on a date with a person. The less this person knows about you, the easier it will be to cut it off and less chances of having a stalker.
3. Go into this to meet new people, not to find a mate. Getting to know other Christian Singles should be the main focus. The first phase is to know someone as an acquaintance then as a friend. If you have this mindset, then you are not going to get disappointed or set yourself up.
4. Get advice from others that will give you good counsel. Have them help you understand the pros and cons of internet dating. They may be able to give you insight of things you have never thought of.
5. Always remember to – BE SMART & SAFE!

Don’t team up with those who are unbelievers. How can righteousness be a partner with wickedness?  How can light live with darkness? What harmony can there be between Christ and the devil? How can a believer be a partner with an unbeliever? 2 Corinthians 6:14-16 (NLT)

Stay tuned for my next blog as I share my own personal experience with internet dating. I will be sharing the GOOD, the BAD, and the UGLY. You don’t want to miss it!

Do you find yourself in so many weddings but it’s not your own? One after another, your friends seem to get engaged and you are asked to be one of the bridesmaids.  This is the story of your life, that famous quote, “Always a bridesmaid, never the bride”.  

You should be grateful that you are asked to be in the wedding party. That means your friend cherishes you to be part of her special day. You need to realize that this is an honor to be part of. Let me ask you this, if this was your wedding day, wouldn’t you want your single friends to celebrate with you? Why then while you are still single, would you be a sourpuss on your friend’s wedding? It’s not about you, it’s about the bride. If you cannot be happy and celebrate with your friend that is getting married, how do you expect that God is going to bring you that special mate? No wonder you are not married yet.

Any wedding, whether it’s your friend or worse, your enemy, you should have the attitude of celebration. The bible says in Matthew 7:12 –

Do to others whatever you would like them to do to you.  

This is the Bible’s Golden Rule! God sees your heart’s desire to get married and he wants to bless you with a mate. But I truly believe God makes us wait to see how we re-act to others being blessed before it’s our turn. You see, it’s about our heart-condition. We need to be happy for others instead of griping and complaining. I love Joyce Meyer when she preaches on selfishness. She moves across the stage like a robot with a broken record repeating the words, “What about me, what about me, what about me?”  

When you complain and grumble about not being married, it can become bitterness and jealousy in your heart towards others that are being blessed.  This is not the right attitude to have and God is not pleased with it. It reminds Him of a child throwing a tantrum because the child does not get his/her way. Do not be like this child, but instead be that child of God that is pleasing & acceptable to Him. Here is what you need to do to please God in this area…

The more you celebrate and support someone in their wedding plans & marriage, then it will also be done unto you when it is YOUR turn.  Wedding plans are stressful enough and you want to be the biggest fan and encourager to the bride and groom. This is about them, not you. If you take this time to celebrate and make them feel special, then when it’s YOUR turn, you are going to be more blessed and stress-free!!! If you don’t change your bad attitude, you may never get YOUR turn.

Also look on the brighter side of this – you will get more experience with weddings of what to do and what not to do. Learn as much as you can and get some great ideas from others. So by the time it’s YOUR  turn, you will have the most perfect wedding of all!  Remember, being single is just a season in your life. It’s what you do during this season that will determine your future. Celebrate with others now. Remember  the Golden Rule!