I have to give it to some of today’s TV shows trying to help people with dating, relationships & sex. At least they are making a bigger attempt than most churches do. This saddens me that Christians aren’t stepping up to do a better job than the world, but that’s a different topic for a different day.

I think my favorite show is the Tyra Banks show as she is really trying to help women deal with some practical issues.  It’s quite hilarious watching topics like “Trust your dating instincts”. It’s very interesting how these women fell again for certain types of guys. As we the audience watched, we can tell right away what type of guys they were, but these poor women couldn’t. This is so typical in all of us. I don’t care how strong or smart you think you are, you can be easily deceived by what a person says, what  they look like and how they act! This just goes to show that we cannot trust ourselves in this area. So far, where has making your own decision got you? We need other people’s help when there is an attraction because common sense goes out the window once we are drawn to that person.

In my own experiences and counseling others in this area, the truth is… NO, YOU CANNOT TRUST YOUR DATING INSTINCTS! If you do, then you will fall back into picking out the same type of person, just a different face. So what can one do to help in identifying if a person is someone good and healthy to date? I am so glad you asked.

The first thing is to surround yourself with people that are wise and has your best interest. What you will need is at least one person that will be an “Accountability partner”. Make sure this person is mature and has high standards in relationships. This person has to be willing to call you out on things that are not good or healthy for you.  This does not necessarily mean your friends  would be good accountability partners because most of the time they will agree and support you in everything and anything, even if it’s setting you up for a disaster. You know those friends that I am talking about!

Find people that have good judgment and gives good advice. Your accountability partner will help you keep your boundaries and values that you have for yourself. They will help you see straight when you cannot see yourself. You should seal it with a written contract if you are really serious about changing in making good decisions about dating. For a FREE copy of this accountability agreement sheet, go to www.bavirgin.com, select the BOOK ENTRY page and enter ACCOUNTABILITY for the keyword.